TV Review: ‘FROM DUSK TILL DAWN, Season 1 Episode 5: SELF-CONTAINED’

“Yeah, those acts of God really stick it in and break it off, don’t they?”

The last episode found the Fullers and the Gecko together at last, heading down the highway toward the border. By the title of this episode, I expected it to cover the trip in the Winnebago, crossing the border, and arriving at the Titty Twister. Well, I was right and wrong. Right because that’s exactly what it does and wrong because it does so much more. And, honestly, I’m just not sure right now if the more is better. But I’ll get to that.

It shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone we open with a flashback. This time, it’s Jacob hanging upside down in his car. It’s brief, thankfully, and we’re soon back in the moment on the R.V. I can’t help but miss Clooney and Keitel’s chemistry during the entire Winnebago scene. I know I mentioned it wasn’t there in the hotel and it’s not here again. Personally, I blame Robert Patrick for this. Cotrona shines as Seth, despite the writing not being as crisp as the movie, and at this point, I’m just not buying Patrick’s faithless preacher. That aside, a little bit of that more I mentioned a paragraph ago rears its head. Seth was shot in the last episode and it didn’t appear to be a flesh wound, either. The man, during his conversation with Jacob, slaps a band-aid on it and calls it hunk dory. What the hell? Jacob shows a little spine, though, which is a good thing. Maybe we’ll see something from him yet.

Two other interesting things happen early on: Seth and Carlos have a phone conversation where they swing their dicks at each other. Basically, Carlos implies Seth is incompetent and Seth counters by stating they’re doing just fine for having no help from Carlos. Scott shows Kate a gun he’s had in his backpack. He’d taken it to school to prevent bullying, etc. Because, you know, guns in schools are the fucking craze right now.

Gonzalez, our intrepid Texas Ranger, hasn’t given up his pursuit. After the Dew Drop Inn incident, his boss (Holbrook) has Gonzalez in cuffs. They’re arresting him and sending him to Austin for a review hearing. He doesn’t back down from this ass chewing and he’s lead off by another Ranger, Hank. (As a bonus, there is an Earl McGraw flashback about teamwork. Don Johnson is killing it, much like Cotrona.) Hank, being a nice guy, takes the cuffs off and Gonzalez lays him out, steals the police SUV, and roars off. I always finds this behavior interesting in cops because, let’s face it, by the end of the show Gonzalez will be one of two things: dead or a hero. I’m betting dead, and the hero thing will piss me off. He’d go to jail if he’s caught and I can’t see too many people doing the things these cops do.

At the crossing station, a border patrol guard, who’s interrogating a long-haired homeless person, takes a phone call from Holbrook (see above) about Gonzalez. The B.P. says he hasn’t seen Gonzalez yet, but he’ll keep a look out.

Richie goes into the bathroom and ends up face to face to Santanico. She tells him he ‘can see now’ and not let anyone stop him from getting to her. I’m really digging this bit of the more we’re getting. I like how they’ve weaved Richie and Santanico together (c’mon, we all know they were eye-fucking each other in the movie), I just don’t like how it’s turned Richie into an asshole without charm. Seriously, an asshole without charm just smells like shit. He’s rude to Scott, and Richie wasn’t rude in the movie, unless you count pointing guns at the kid. I don’t, but that’s me. Of course, when he comes out of the bathroom, he’s seeing a tail on Scott and Jacob is some sort vampire-like demon.

Another flashback shows us the conversation right before Jacob’s accident. Jacob is imploring his wife to pray more and she says, “I’m dong praying.” I’m still not sure, at this point, if it’s just marital troubles or if mom is sick in some way. Jacob keeps talking to her, and he mentions Mexico, which is where they had a moment. She smiles, remembering, and agrees. He wants to sell the house, pack up the kids, and all of them go back. Jenny is agreeable until Jacob brings up God. Her face falls… she’s obviously had it up to wherever with God, and she tries to jump out of the car. Jacob pulls her back in and loses control of the car.

Richie finally takes the time to explain his weird visions to Seth, who obviously thinks Richie is nuts. Richie calls Santanico a “goddess,” explains that Jacob is a demon and starts advocating for their death. He’s pretty sure that Scott and Jacob will betray them if given the chance. Seth shuts that down and Richie heads back to watch Scott and Kate while Seth goes forward.

At the border, there’s a piddling conversation between Seth and Jacob. I keep comparing these moments to the movie and I will do so until the season ends. While they are two different beasts, I’m still not sure why some of the dialogue can’t be the same (maybe there are copyright issues?). This conversation between the two just doesn’t measure up and you’re not feeling that sense of respect the two have for each other. Don’t get me wrong, the writers try, but in my opinion they’re failing. It goes right along with what I said earlier about the Winnebago scene as a whole. Seth sees Gonzalez approaching the R.V. from the side, but he’s intercepted by the same officer who took the phone call from Holbrook. Close call for the Geckos.

In the back of the Winnebago, Kate tries to convince Richie that his “knowledge” comes from God. She actually compares him to Moses, who also didn’t believe, but convinces Richie to pray with her. They link hands, close their eyes, and start praying and that’s when Scott whips out his pistol and points it at Richie’s head. Richie calls for Seth, who puts his gun on Scott. I don’t know, I found it strange that we had another Mexican standoff, this time at the Mexican border.

During the standoff, Cotrona shows his chops, doing a bang up job of talking Scott down. This is the Seth Gecko we love. “You’re not like me. And you don’t wanna be.” Scott gives up his gun and Richie goes to plug him and Seth is forced to intervene. Jacob, on the other hand, takes matters into his own hands and rear ends the car in front of him at the border stop. Probably not the best idea he’s ever had, especially since Seth threatens Jacob if he doesn’t take care of the other driver. Jacob tries, but the driver is reasonable, expects to share insurance information, and Jacob punches him out. And no one sees. NO ONE. He brings the driver onto the R.V. and now the big decision is who’s going to drive this guy’s car. They decide on Scott (and Richie looks apoplectic over that decision)and when Jacob walks him out there, Scott pulls a movie move and says he’s going to tell the border patrol. Jacob shuts that shit down real quick. Jacob tells him to get through the border and that he loves him. Here’s where we deviate from the movie even more. Hang on to your butts…

Scott is nervous and it shows. So much so that he’s pulled out of the car and into the border patrol office. They also remove the car from the line. At this point, the Gecko brothers are panicking. Richie wants to just kill the whole lot of them and says as much, and Jacob raps him in the teeth for it, too. Jacob gets into the driver’s seat after that and the Geckos retreat to the bathroom, taking Kate with them. This is much like the movie as Jacob’s talking the B.P. guard away from the R.V. while Seth and Richie argue in the bathroom. But this time it’s about who’s in charge and who needs to get killed until Seth backhands Richie and knocks him out. Score! Except, of course, this brings the border patrol onto the R.V.

Seth hears the officer on board and points his gun at the door. He’s ready for another shoot out and, after only some hesitation, he jerks the bathroom door open…

… and the scene shifts back to the border patrol office and the guard on the phone with Holbrook. The homeless person (haven’t you figured out who that is yet?) escapes the cuffs and vamps out to kill the guard. There’s some nice photography work as Carlos looks in a mirror and it’s clearly Carlos’ back and profile (Valderrama) and the guard’s front and profile. We follow him out as he stops Gonzalez from going after the R.V. and once they’re back in the office, Gonzalez tries to convince a disguised Carlos to search the R.V. since a bust like that comes with big promotions, such as a Ranger star. Gonzalez continues to try and convince him by bringing up the Cartel and Carlos. It’s a good scene for the viewers as we’re all groaning inwardly as we know Carlos is going to vamp out and kill Gonzalez. And lo and behold, Carlos gets up and starts shutting the blinds to the room, but Gonzalez isn’t stupid… he sees blood on the floor and things get tense for a moment. But Carlos leaves without incident. Good scene, good suspense.

Carlos locks Gonzalez in the room and heads into the room where they’re holding Scott. Scott says he can explain everything and Carlos replies, “How? By giving up Seth and Richie?” Scott is, obviously, perplexed, but he passes Carlos’ test and the vampire takes Scott back to the R.V. He dismiss the B.P. guard that’s already there and when Seth opens the door, his gun is pointing at Carlos. Carlos asks him if he still wants in El Rey. Seth, confused, exits the bathroom and Carlos tells him he’s free to go and there’s only one check point left. Carlos leaves the R.V. and yes, he’s a smug vampire.

Back in the office, Gonzalez investigates the blood stains and finds the dead guard in a closet. Of course, a guard walks in almost right after that and thinks Gonzalez killed the man and so Gonzalez knocks him out and escapes.

We’re thrown back into the past next with Jacob and Jenny in the car accident. We find out Jenny’s still alive and Jacob is praising God for that and when the camera pans down, we see she has a large metal rod stuck all the way through her. We know she dies and there’s the why and how of it all. When Jacob sees her wound, he begs God to take him instead, relying on years and years of faithful service to grant him a miracle and, well, when he realizes God doesn’t use faith as currency to buy anything, Jacob starts cursing God instead.

We come back forward and Jacob is recounting this to Kate and Scott. He tells them, quite plainly, that their marriage was in trouble and he wouldn’t get any help, not any real help. He put all his faith in God, everything in His hands, and their mother paid the price. The best scene from Robert Patrick yet.

Seth, now driving the Winnebago, pulls up to the last checkpoint. The light turns red, the tire spikes come out. At the same time, Gonzalez exits the B.P. building and spies the R.V. and heads toward it. A still tricked out Carlos who’s not Carlos cuts him off, however, but Gonzalez knows something is wrong. Then Carlos turns into Carlos and, well, here’s another piece of that more I mentioned way at the start. The vampire shapeshifts into another human being and Gonzalez is like, “Cool.” His reaction to this is way too casual. I’d have shit kittens, but maybe that’s why I’m not a Ranger.

Carlos puts Gonzalez’s dick in the dirt (why not just kill him?) and two Cartel thugs open up with automatic gunfire, killing B.P. guards and shooting up cars. Meanwhile, Carlos just strolls away. IN THE SUN. AS HIMSELF. Another bit of that more since the vampire rules seem to only apply when needed. Carlos’ hand burns in the sun, but not his face? Seriously, writers of the shows, I’m a red-headed Irish man and while I’m not quite as UV sensitive as our blood sucking friends, even I burn in the sun with only a fucking hat on my head. Explain this shit, please, or you’re going to lose credibility.

Despite all the shooting, the light turns green and Seth speeds over the border into Mexico. Carlos jumps into a black SUV with his Cartel gunmen and also speeds into Mexico. The only one not getting into Mexico fast is Gonzalez. He runs after Carlos on foot and we see him sliding down a hill toward a small river. He disrobes and shoves his clothes and gun into a black garbage bag (Because, you know, Rangers carry those EVERYWHERE) and wades into Mexico. He’s bringing it back, Old School. The only thing he leaves behind is his Ranger badge, which is a good thing, since he’s been breaking the law for a few episodes now.

The episode ends, as I expected, with the R.V. pulling up outside the Titty Twister. The group disembarks the ride and stares at the spectacle.

Folks, I can’t wait to see how they sell me an apple pie pussy in the next episode… tune in…