SNAP JUDGMENT – June 1st – 8th, 2018

So here’s the deal: movie marketing fascinates me. I watch a lot of trailers. They can be thrilling. They can tantalize. They can tease. They can spoil. They can be infuriating. The point is, there is an art involved — finding the balance between showing too much and showing too little, flashing style over substance, and don’t forget those oh-so-important tags “from the ______ of ______” or “from visionary ______.”

Every week or two I’ll dive into the trailer game — or maybe the poster game, even — giving informed opinions and thoughts on what’s being presented, how it’s coming across, and if you should even watch. NOTHING beats going into a movie blind, even if it’s the rarest thing these days, so I’ll be sure to take the hit and steer you right. Except for the posters. Nothing is off limits there, folks.

 

JUNE 1st through JUNE 8th

What really inspired me to start this now is that we are in the midst of the summer movie season, and you would think by looking at YouTube this week that it must be San Diego Comic-Con time because the studios are going craaaaaazy! But no, Comic-Con is a full month off, so I have no idea what the hell is going on. There were at least 20 trailers released this week for major releases in the coming months. This is just overload, let’s face it. We got giant blockbusters, animated family fare, award fetching dramas, and genre-benders from horror directors. We also got two of the biggest horror films of 2018 dangled in front of us. So let’s dig in, shall we?

SUSPIRIA (Amazon Studios, 11/2)

The Skinny: Hot off of some major notice and success for last year’s Call Me By Your Name, we get a glimpse at director Luca Guadagnino’s reimagining of the 1977 Argento classic. This is certainly not the footage that wowed and terrified the CinemaCon audience in April, but rather an odd collection of moments from the film that don’t add up to anything other than…creepy, I guess. I don’t know. I’m highly anticipating the movie itself, but this teaser didn’t really tantalize me as much as make me shrug. Looks neat, strange…yeah.

Spoiler Alert: Your guess is as good as mine. If you think you can make out what the fuck is going on in this thing, be my guest. I’ll be there no matter what, because of course.

 

HALLOWEEN (Universal, 10/19)

The Skinny: David Gordon Green and Danny McBride have written what looks like a second try at the concept of 1998’s H20: 20 Years Later, except now it’s 20 ADDITIONAL years later (holy shit, go ahead and feel old with me). The verdict so far is pretty great, I think. Carpenter is on board (and handling the music!), the look and feel is right, the mask is awesome, and Jamie Lee Curtis looks like a crazy cat lady with a vengeance. The bathroom scene definitely reminds me too much of Rob Zombie’s version, but I’m alright with it. Not much Judy Greer in here, who appears to be the main character of the movie…but if you’ve got Curtis (again), I’d bank it all on her too. Don’t need to see any more, just speed up time and let me see it now.

Spoiler Alert: Mild to medium. If you’ve seen H20 (and you have) you pretty much know what to expect here anyway. I bet there is plenty left to shred nerves. That last scare scene is a bit unnecessary, but I loved it so I’ll let it slide.

 

THE GIRL IN THE SPIDER’S WEB (Sony, 11/9)

The Skinny: Okay, I thought this was a mistake. David Fincher’s adaptation of The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo was released almost 7 years ago to mixed reaction. It’s nobody’s favorite Fincher, it’s definitely my least watched of his, and it was far too expensive and underperforming to get a sequel up and running. So now Evil Dead and Don’t Breathe director Fede Alvarez has made a (seemingly) unrelated version of the 4th novel in the Swedish Millennium series. It’s a strange thing that this exists in the first place…BUT it looks pretty cool. Alvarez is a talented director, visually dynamic — that explosion while diving into the bathtub shot is amazing — and can make something look great on a budget. The real highlight here though? Claire. Foy. If you’re not on board with her yet (see Unsane), the opening minute of this spot should convert you fairly quickly. I don’t particularly like Rooney Mara as the character — Noomi Rapace IS Lisbeth Salander — but Foy looks pretty perfect.

Spoiler Alert: Medium to high. Frankly they could have just cut it after that lengthy first scene and it’d be enough, but it feels like some climactic stuff is being revealed.

 

SERENITY (Aviron, 10/19)

The Skinny: Writer/Director Steven Knight (who also has a writing credit on The Girl in the Spider’s Web) is most well known for being a great writer, but he also directed 2013’s much loved Tom Hardy vehicle Locke (pun intended). His follow up looks entirely different, but definitely in his grimy-crime wheelhouse. A murder plot is developed between a fisherman and a woman from his past to get rid of her abusive, controlling husband, or so it would appear. Matthew McConaughey looks like he’s back in top form after a few missteps (also check out White Boy Rick from this week’s trailer tsunami). Lots of beautiful vistas and psychological horror imagery are mixed in with a cool editing technique set to the sound of clicking cable reel from the boat. It’s intense stuff, looks like a solid thriller.

Spoiler Alert: Mild at best. Yes, there is a lot of plot detail thrown in, but I definitely feel like there is a handful of twists coming to keep viewers on their toes.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SbrOMrjhyvI

 

WIDOWS (Fox, 11/16)

The Skinny: Steve McQueen’s long awaited follow-up to 12 Years a Slave is a gritty, grim, bold star studded ensemble co-written by Gone Girl author Gillian Flynn (who is killing it right now) and based on a mini-series from 2002. A heist gone very wrong leaves the now widowed scrambling and deciding to pick up where their other halves left off. Maybe it’s just Viola Davis being awesome, but visually and tonally this also reminds me of Denis Villenueve’s 2013 masterpiece Prisoners. That last shot? Come on. This looks amazing.

Spoiler Alert: Mild to medium. I got more of an idea what’s going on by reading the log line than from watching the trailer alone. This is a badass little clip, I can’t wait for this movie.

 

BAD TIMES AT THE EL ROYALE (Fox,10/5)

The Skinny: Drew Goddard finally returns! Cabin in the Woods was filmed 9 years ago, and after some big writing credits and a bunch of solid TV work under his belt he’s finally back to direct this black comedy/thriller/horror/crime/who knows what else movie. If you’re not familiar, this is a project that was under a lot of secrecy until this week, with Goddard shopping his script around with high security, exclusively to studio heads…and holy shit, I see why. This looks bonkers. Tones of Tarantino, but with a style all it’s own. Great cast, great intrigue, GREAT trailer.

Spoiler Alert: Barely, as it’s difficult to determine what’s going on here and who is who. Plus as I think this is one of the best trailers this year; I’d recommend taking a look no matter what.

 

LET THE CORPSES TAN (Kino Lorber, 8/31)

The Skinny: Hélène Cattet and Bruno Forzani third feature after Amer and The Strange Color Of Your Body’s Tears is moving away from giallo homage and into spaghetti western. Visually, like the other two movies, this looks impressive. Really violent, too. Here’s hoping that maybe a certain site runner and midnight movie programmer can help make sure we get to see this on the big screen in St. Louis.  

Spoiler Alert: Nope. Unless you can piece this together, it’s not spoiling a thing. Also, judging from their previous work there will be nothing to spoil…because nothing will reside in a state of logic…and nothing will happen…but it will look terrific and be bloody as hell.

WOW.

So after all of this, what big upcoming flicks are still missing in action here? UNFRIENDED: DARK WEB is still set for release on July 20th, and with The First Purge not coming out until July 4th — the only movie aside from Hereditary that it should have been logically attached to — it looks like this is maybe going to be a quick marketing campaign for the Blumhouse sequel (or a bump to October). I’m also betting we’ll see a longer look at THE MEG pretty soon, as she (or he) will be breaching cinemas on August 10th. Unless Sony decides to move SLENDER MAN again, we’ve barely seen anything aside from a brief, uninspired teaser last year, and August 24th isn’t very far off (my bet is on another push.) September has a big genre hitter every weekend of which we’ve only seen a teaser for, if that: The Conjuring 2 spinoff THE NUN (9/7), Shane Black’s THE PREDATOR (9/14), Eli Roth’s THE HOUSE WITH A CLOCK  IN IT’S WALLS (9/21), and Lionsgate’s theme-park slasher HELL FEST (9/28). Should be some fun 2 minute clips coming our way soon.