SNAP JUDGMENT – December 2018

Well, here we are at the end of 2018. How we doing, everyone good? It’s been a fun year for genre entries, and another successful year at the box office to ensure that major studios keep producing horror. While Halloween wasn’t quite as successful as It or as buzzy as Get Out was last year, it was a smashing success while movies like A Quiet Place and Hereditary and Mandy ensured that horror was always close to the minds and hearts (and wallets) of the public. Even if you hated those movies, they help keep the genre relevant to those that help get them made.

There’ve been a nice amount of noteworthy trailers to wind out the year and tease what’s around the corner. We still haven’t seen a glimpse of Jacob’s Ladder, which is set for a February 1st date still, nor a full look at The Prodigy for February 8th, so those should be any day now, but I’m imagining January will be pretty slow for film marketing. Anyway, the best of December!

HAPPY DEATH DAY 2U (Universal/Blumhouse, February 14th)

I’ll admit I wasn’t the biggest fan of this first slasher variant of Groundhog Day, but it was cute enough. I’m digging that the sequel is going where I wished the first one would have, and that’s being completely self aware of how ridiculous it is (and embracing the hell out of it). Still think gore would be a welcome addition, but it is what it is. I think this shows a bit too much, so viewer beware. You’re already on board if you enjoyed the first one.

THE INTRUDER (Screen Gems, May 3rd)

Dennis Quaid being creepy is maybe the best idea I could have never imagined I needed, but damned if I don’t love him in this trailer. But guess what? It’s a Screen Gems trailer, meaning it’s from Sony, meaning they’ll show you the entire movie, beat for beat. Don’t watch this trailer. Chances are given the Screen Gems track record that this won’t be worth anyone’s time…but it looks passable. Again, Dennis Quaid looks like the reason to see this.

BRIGHTBURN (Screen Gems, May 24th)

Maybe my favorite surprise tease of 2018. James Gunn’s produced (and family written) supervillain variation on the Superman mythos. While I’m sure there’s enough here to separate this character from the Man of Steel, they’re absolutely selling this on nostalgic knowledge of his arrival on Earth. The bend of this kid using his abilities to kill is probably going to make Zack Snyder’s neck-snap look like a pat on the back. I love the visuals: the laced up mask, those glowing eyes in the dark, hovering above the road menacingly at night as Badger approaches in a pick-up, and of course that final moment of holy hell. Wait…is this a Sony trailer that DOESN’T ruin the entire movie?? Wait…Screen Gems??? Don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll know how it ends before it opens. Either way I’m hoping this is a sleeper hit, and it’s far enough away from inevitable behemoth Avengers: Endgame to have a shot.

PIERCING (Universal, February 1st in limited theaters and VOD)

The Eyes of My Mother was one of my favorites from 2016 and Nicholas Pesce’s follow up looks dazzling and twisted, yet completely different. Word has been quite kind from festivals, and I’m looking forward to finally seeing it. Don’t think anything is coherent enough to be a spoiler.

GODZILLA: KING OF THE MONSTERS (Warner Brothers, May 31st)

Michael Doughty has arrived! This arrived rather quickly for a second trailer, especially for a movie that isn’t due for a full five months still. But it totally rocks, and I don’t need to see another second to sell me on A)this was definitely the director for the job, and B)the scope of this looks way bigger than I was imagining, even with lord knows how many monsters we’re getting in this. Just…bring it. This cast is great.

CAPTIVE STATE (Focus Features, March 29th)

After two cryptic teasers we now have a more revealing trailer for Rupert Wyatt’s first movie in five years (after The Gambler, which is completely underrated). Looks like using the backdrop of an alien invasion to tackle social and political issues is going to be in full effect here, and I’m in for that…especially when the invaders look that cool. I’m still not entirely sure what this movie is at the core, but I’m intrigued to find out.

BRAID (Blue Fox Entertainment, February 1st on VOD)

I have no earthly clue what this movie is, but I’d like to see it.

GLASS (Universal/Blumhouse, January 18th)

The final trailer for M. Night Shyamalan’s long-awaited Unbreakable sequel (and short awaited Split sequel) has a few new shots that you don’t really need to see, but it looks cool so why the hell not. There’s no spoiler in here to ruin how great this movie should be.

HELLBOY (Lionsgate, April 12th)

We’ve finally been given a (moving image) glimpse at Lionsgate’s inexplicable reboot of what Guillermo Del Toro and Ron Perlman already owned. The verdict? Wow! It looks shit! Not in a bad filmmaking sort of way, more in a tone deaf, R.I.P.D.-vibed, cheap nightmare sort of way. While David Harbor looked totally solid in those promo stills, seeing him move around looks like someone in high quality cosplay rather than professional make-up. Those eyes are the worst part; he just looks insane. Neil Marshall is a dependable director, and I so hope that when we get to see the finished film, all my fears were for naught and it’s the best Hellboy movie ever…but it won’t be. Absolutely a major spoiler at the very end of the trailer, but it’s an “obvious” one. Note that there are two different versions of this trailer floating around (one leaked, apparently) with this being the kinda “red band” better of the two.

THE FIELD GUIDE TO EVIL (TBA 2019)

While we don’t appear to be getting another entry for The ABC’s of Death (due to “piracy”), that hasn’t stopped some of the producers from tackling another anthology. The good news? It looks wild. The bad news? It’s apparently terrible. But maybe there’s a short or two worth seeing!

ST AGATHA (Uncork’d, February 8th on VOD)

Darren Lynn Bousman…isn’t the best. He’s not the worst though, and both Repo! and Mother’s Day are both part of my collection. I also hold his Saw IV up as the second best in the series next to Jigsaw, which is…praise of some sort? Anyway, here’s his newest film. It’s a Catholic’s nightmare of some sort, and I don’t really get the terror from those. But maybe this is worth seeing, doesn’t look bad.

RUST CREEK (IFC Midnight, January 4th in limited theaters and VOD)

This new thriller from IFC Midnight that looks pretty solid! Backwoods crazies in Kentucky prey upon a young lady, who is rescued by someone who may or may not be even worse. I like survival stories, and I like seeing a final girl kill hoosiers (it’s a St Louis term, it’s not what you might think).

I AM THE NIGHT (TNT, Series Premiere January 28th)

A second look at Patty Jenkin’s TNT series event with Chris Pine looks just as good as the first. Not much else to say, I’m 100% ready for this.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wcxAaIfKBeI&t=19s

GRETA (Focus Features, March 1st)

Here’s a creepy little one that I had no clue about. Looks to feature a great performance from the wonderful Isabelle Huppert, more than a few homages to Audition (and maybe Misery), and a slick visual style that Neil Jordan hasn’t shown off in a little while. Jordan’s been pretty miss or miss since the late 90’s (though Ondine is great), and he’s due for a solid thriller to raise his stock back up. Oh, and get this…Stephen Rea is in this one! No way, right???

US (Universal/Blumhouse, March)

Finally, a Christmas gift from Jordan Peele and Blumhouse: the trailer for the hotly anticipated follow up to the best horror film of 2017. It’s been shrouded in mystery, almost entirely, until this point. This trailer has a symphonic rendition of Luniz’s 90’s banger ‘I Got Five On It.’ Oh, and it looks absolutely incredible. A twist on the home invasion sub-genre where the intruders are, somehow, alternate versions of the family being intruded upon. I was in sight unseen, and now I need see nothing else. I’m at peak excitement. Love this cast, love the look, can’t wait for March.

Happiest of Holidays to everyone! See you next year!