Movie Review: ‘STITCHES’

Gross-out teen comedy meets zombie-clown slasher.  Bad Santa meets Sorority Row.  Stephen King’s It modernized, younger, and without the stupid alien stuff.  If these pitch lines don’t make you giddy, Stitches is not the movie for you.  For those it DOES tickle with delight, I’m happy to tell you that you’re in for a serious treat.  Serious is probably a bad word choice; there is a lot more humor than horror to be found within the film.  But if you like your dark comedy drenched in gore, rejoice…your perfect film has arrived.

British comedian Ross Noble is the titular clown of Stitches, a washed up entertainer (think Uncle Buck) who shows up late for a birthday party and suffers from the worst case of a “we’re too old for this” audience, ultimately resulting in his grisly, hilarious death.  Six years later the birthday boy Tom (Tommy Knight) has grown up and is severely traumatized with nightmares of what happened and even worse he’s teased about the event.  See, now the kids are older, their personalities have developed, and the cliques have arisen.  For his birthday Tom’s reunited with the same birthday crowd for a house party, but little do they know that the party will have an uninvited entertainer.  Stitches is risen from the dead for revenge by a cabal of clowns who use painted eggs to bring their tortured, misunderstood kind back to life.  And he brought his bag of tricks with him.

Hilarious, disgusting, and ridiculous deaths ensue. Director and co-writer Conor McMahon (Dead Meat) manages to craft a lean, fast paced thrilling comedy-horror that’s always inventive and clever (balloon animals with intestines, anyone?) and doesn’t overstay its welcome.  And while the cast of kids are aptly acted – none particularly poorly – the highlight is obviously Ross Noble.  He’s absolutely game to be self deprecating and shamelessly disgusting in order to get a great laugh, and Stitches is just shy of being as memorable as Tim Curry’s Pennywise.  Noble absolutely owns the role, and brings just the right amount of menace and humor.

Is this original material?  Not really, but it hasn’t been done quite like this.  Every kill is memorable, fresh, and funny.  This is the second Irish horror comedy I’ve seen recently and both have been great (the other being Grabbers).  If this is what’s coming out of that side of Europe, may there be much, much more to come.  Of course Stitches is left open for more vengeful antics in the future, and I personally hope to see that.  Everybody loves a clown.