Movie Review: ‘John Dies At the End’

John may not die at the end. Spoiler alert? Anti-spoiler alert? Spoiler unspoiled? Who knows. I’ve seen the film and I still don’t know. Don Coscarelli is a unique character. His films can only REALLY be enjoyed if one can suspend all disbelief, logic, and rationality. Having just re-watched the Phantasm series earlier in the year, I can safely say that there’s zero chance Coscarelli cares about story and continuity. So you can either accept this, which I can – Phantasm 2 is a childhood fave – or you can get five minutes in and say “I give up.” Fortunately, I decided to stick it out with John Dies At the End, and I’m rather glad I did.

The film sets it’s tone instantly with a quirky, comical voice-over monologue posing a question to you that essentially boils down to “yep, it’s strange nonsense…you think you can handle this?” We watch as our hero Dave is brought into a world where communication with the dead is viable due to “soy sauce,” a black drug which appears to be alive. It doesn’t stop there – time travel and dimensional rifts are common, too. Dave is just as clueless as we are, and he tells his story to a reporter named Arnie, played by a very game Paul Giamatti. Arnie is just as baffled and disbelieving as we are, but as things are slowly put together, it starts to make a strange sort-of sense. Like Stefan on Saturday Night Live would describe it, this movie has everything: worms with teeth, giant spiders, a motivational guru, people with human masks, dismemberment,  the undead, a talking dog, a tentacled blob, and a worldwide invasion.

The main characters felt weak to me.  They are more like caricatures and rough outlines of what could have been interesting people. Giamatti, as mentioned before, is having a blast being involved, and cameos from Clancy Brown, Doug Jones, Jerry Droz, and (of course) Angus Scrimm turn out to be more compelling and fun than the two leads. Acting is at a suitably low key, rough level that flows along with the strangeness of the film. And Coscarelli is in full form here after nearly a 10 year gap between feature films. It’s nice to see him inspired every few years rather than just churning out a bland filmography like a lot of his peers from the late 70’s/early 80’s.

John Dies At the End is an absolute mess, but it’s very self aware and there’s a real likability to it for some reason. As it goes on, the film begins to create its OWN sense of logic and rational. It’s so bizarre and silly that I came around from hating the fact that I was clueless to actually enjoying that I was; If that makes any sense. I enjoyed my time spent whether I understood it or not, take that as you will.