[Yuletide Terrors] Day 21: BIKINI BLOODBATH CHRISTMAS

Throughout the month of December, we will be highlighting a film a day that has some tie into the holiday somehow. Some titles will be obvious, others won’t be. Some films will be good and, again, others won’t be. However, we think all titles are worth your time whether to give you chills inside your home or to make you drink more eggnog until you puke laughing.

After narrowly escaping her last encounter with the killer chef, it’s Christmas time for Jenny (Rachael Robbins). The head shop [or maybe it’s a Spencer’s] is gearing up for the shopping season. There’s an intense rivalry with the deli next door and their dueling Santa Clauses. To ease the tensions our bong ripping bikini babes invite the evil deli girls to their Employee Christmas Party. Too bad the chef shows up and starts killing people. Again.

In the timeless tradition of the Friday and Harold and Kumar franchises, the final chapter of the Bikini Bloodbath saga takes place around Christmas. I have never seen the other entries, given the title I figured it was a parody/tribute to the work of Fred Olen Ray. The filmmakers are claiming tribute to 80s slashers, sure we’ll go with that. Watching this movie is like listening to an inside joke. It’s hilarious to the people telling it, and no one else gets it. The humor falls flat at every step. The most egregious example is a running joke of one of the girls being called fat the entire movie. Of course she’s not, so that’s the joke, I suppose. There’s also three different scenes of people shitting, and the “fat girl” eats a shit sandwich at one point. I feel like I have a high tolerance for poop jokes but you can’t just throw shit at a wall and expect it to stick.

It seems like the Bikini Bloodbath thrillogy is a measly excuse for endless nudity. But it’s really not. Sure there’s a good amount of nudity and bikini changing but it’s not as much as you would expect. I did get to see one of the actor’s nustsack as he hopped into a hot tub. So, there’s that.

If you’re wondering why I watched this, I had one movie fall through and Bikini Bloodbath Christmas is only 71 minutes. It’s actually 65 minutes and six minutes of end credits. It was one of the longest hours of my life.