[Yuletide Terrors] Day 17: BLOOD BEAT

Throughout the month of December, we will be highlighting a film a day that has some tie into the holiday somehow. Some titles will be obvious, others won’t be. Some films will be good and, again, others won’t be. However, we think all titles are worth your time whether to give you chills inside your home or to make you drink more eggnog until you puke laughing.

When Ted (James Fitzgibbons) comes home for Christmas he brings his new girlfriend Sarah (Claudia Peyton) with him. His sister and mom’s boyfriend seem to like her, but his mom (Helen Benton) stops dead in her tracks when they meet. Cathy has a gift, she’s able to read minds. To help control her ability, Cathy spends a lot of time painting. And something about Sarah has given her the chills. Cathy’s reaction has cast a pall on the Yuletide season.  To remedy this, Ted and family show Sarah what a real Wisconsin Christmas is like, or try their best. They take her hunting with Uncle Pete (Peter Spelson), and accidentally kill a man. Oops. To make matters worse there’s someone in the woods killing people with a katana (Japanese sword). And oddly enough each death-stroke happens when Sarah orgasms.

Blood Beat is so far the oddest title I’ve watched this month. Written, directed and produced by a very French sounding Fabrice A. Zaphiratos, but shot in Wisconsin. I wasn’t sure if it was shot in the Cheese State because honestly there’s not enough beer drinking in the flick. Close to an hour in the movie, Sarah excuses herself from evening activities. Why you ask, to masturbate . As one does at all family gatherings. Her diddling results in two orgasms and two corpses, Uncle Pete and Aunt No Name. That bean flicking session reinvigorates Sarah, Ted notices and gets her in the sack that next night, I think four people die as a result. Way to go, Teddy Boy. I wish there was more scenes of the killer in Samurai armor slicing and dicing with Sarah moaning and groaning. Everything comes to a head and climax with a psychic battle between Cathy and Sarah.

Have you ever watched a movie and when the credits roll, you’re at a loss for words? This takes the cake from Elves. I’m curious if Blood Beat was Mr. Zaphiratos’ attempt at a slasher or if he used slasher tropes to tell a very different kind of movie. It is the only movie he directed, his only other credit was writing in starring a French film from the late 70s. This movie is a cross between The Boogeyman and Ninja III: The Domination. It unfortunately only kicks into high gear in the last 25 minutes. Worth a watch for the hardened genre fan.