Socks, Satan, and other Sick Stuff: A Very Scary 2014 Holiday Gift Guide

For the 2014 edition of Coffin Couture’s Holiday Gift Guide, I thought I would offer up some pretty sweet riffs on traditional “no really, you shouldn’t have” gifts like socks, scarves and underwear, as well as some other stuff that you’re going to want to score for yourself or that special someone that has a thing for cranky Old Saint Krampus.

Cthulhu scarf

My scarf collection nearly rivals my shoe collection. And that’s saying something since until a recent purge, I owned approximately 50 pairs of kicks. I know, first world problems are a bitch. So up first on my list is a scarf that make all my other scarves turn green with envy from Austin-based purveyors of cool stuff, Middle of  Beyond. Even Lovecraft himself would lust after MOB’s “Cthulhu” scarf (above, $29.99). Check out all of MOB’s awe-inspiring knitwear and other ungodly goods over at their official site.

“PentaCross” socks.

The Satanic marketing majesties over at San Francisco based bike outfitter Mash makes quite possibly the coolest socks I’ve ever seen with an equally cool name, “PentaCross“. The only thing cooler than the the inverted cross on the bottom of the socks are the pentagrams on the top of them. Genious. $14.99.

Cheeky lingerie maker, Hopeless Lingerie (NSFW) put out a Nightmare on Elm Street high-waist granny panty last year and before you could say “Don’t fall asleep!”, they sold out. Thankfully the equally cheeky Etsy-er, Pretty Perverse also makes lace panties with Freddie’s mug ($45) on the back. I highly recommend checking out Pretty Perverse’s other items especially if you always wanted to secretly adorn Lemmy Kilmister’s face on your crotch, or King Diamond on your posterior.

 “Ripper Moz” sweater. 

Now I’m not going to litter this post with the new crop of Christmas sweaters that come out every year with the following exception pictured above. The “Ripper Moz” sweater was designed by Kiwi-born artist and pro-skateboarder, Gareth Stehr. A Christmas tribute to Morrissey the eternal King of Gloom? Yes, please. And if this sweater wasn’t cool enough already all proceeds from the sale of Ripper Moz go to Peta. Like I always say, do good while looking good. $79.99.

Daryl Dixon custom nutcracker.

Next up is a holiday favorite, the nutcracker. There’s a nutcracker for pretty much everybody these days, but I’ve never seen one as cool a zombie killer Daryl Dixon from The Walking Dead ($275) by artist Bart Sandel (via his Etsy shop, Art By Bart). This custom nutcracker is a stunner right down to the Dixon’s grim grin, his tiny loaded crossbow, and the zombie head he’s standing on with a protruding eyeball. Sandel also makes a spendy nutcracker version of Optimus Prime ($400) and Lion-O from the Thundercats ($275).

Leatherface Christmas ornament.

I’ve always loved the idea of decorating a horror-inspired Christmas tree, but the closest I ever got was having a tree decorated exclusively with black ornaments one year (not bad, I know). However, thanks ReGeekery and their lovingly detailed “Leatherface” ornament above ($7.95), my dream of a scary-as -shit tree that will successfully piss off my mother-in-law one holiday season, could happen. More of a Facehugger fan? No problem. So Perfectly Twisted makes a handmade glass “Facehugger” ornament just for you ($25.00).

Lost Themes by John Carpenter.

Since I know that all you DTB readers are also big vinyl junkies like me, I thought I’d include a release that I’m pretty excited to get my hands on. Although it doesn’t officially come out until February 3rd, 2015, pre-orders for director John Carpenter first-ever album of unreleased cinematic music called Lost Themes, is going on now. You can listen to first track from Lost Themes, “Vortex” here.

Horror Block box (examples of box contents).

Lastly, if you are the kind of horror nerd that loves everything but hates to shop, jump online and peruse some of the horror themed subscription boxes that can be delivered to you door once a month (or as many times a year as you would like) for about $20 each. My favorite is the Horror Block Box by Nerd Block ($19.99) because it often contains t-shirts. Other scary boxes o’ fun include the Full Moon Mystery Box by Charles Band’s Full Moon Features and Box of Dread.

So there you have it! Another list full of scary-cool gifts that you won’t be re-gifting for the office Secret Santa. Hail Satan and have a bloody good holiday kids!