A New Year And A More Metal You – How To Do Rocker Chic On The Cheap

So the holidays are officially over (they concluded yesterday with the celebration of my birthday, FYI), and like me, I’m sure you’re broke. What’s worse is that you are probably also stuck with a bunch of stuff that you didn’t really want, and now have to return or re-gift the gifts you got if you’re the tacky type.

Well, thanks to  Swedish cult retail chain, H&M, you can instantly update your wardrobe and make it worthy of any headbanging chick that likes to rock, but still digs a bargain. And when I say bargain, I mean a head-to-toe leather look, complete with skulls and studs for about $100. Did you know that you can’t even spell ‘heavy metal’ without the letters H&M? And with yours truly as your very metal guide,  you can’t fail. Are you with me? Good. Pencils down and let’s begin Lesson 101: Heavy Metal Chic on the Cheap

Fringed Biker Jacket – $50

I still have my old fringed biker jacket from back in the day, and while I don’t wear it anymore, I can’t part with it. There is probably nothing that says “I ♥ Metal” more than a black leather biker jacket, and fringe – and I love this riff on the wild child look that brings both looks together. If you’re not feeling the fringe, that’s okay. But without a doubt, if you can only add one thing to your 2014 wardrobe, it should be a biker jacket. The classic style can easily be found for around than $30, or as cheap as this faux-leather jacket by Jou-Jou for $18, and worn by anyone. As an aside, I kid you not, as I was typing these words, my new $30 moto-jacket arrived. Happy Birthday to me!

Faux leather pants with back pockets – H&M $35

Next up are pants. Skinny jeans are still trending hard, and H&M has tons of different styles for as little as $9.95. H&M has several different versions of faux-leather pants, but I have to give these the edge due to the fact that they have front and back pockets – which are more flattering than no pockets in most cases. My second choice would be these slim-fit pants, with very metal zippered pockets just under the waist. $25.

Biker pants – $15.

Our motorcycle shopping trip down Route 66  continues with the “Moto” pant (as they are also referred to), a cool riff on the skinny jeans, but with motorcycle pant detailing on the knees, as well as a closer cut at the waist. These biker pants will run you $15 and even come with ankle zippers so you can wear them sans boots, for a bit more revved up look.

Slim Fit Zebra pants – $10!

Ladies, don’t be afraid of patterns. And at a mere $10, it’s easy to experiment with the patterned pant obsession, and still keep it tough with these slim-fit Zebra print pants. But if you’re going to do it, make sure to downplay everything else you’re wearing, including accessories, and let the pants be the star of your one-night-only show.

Quilted faux leather skirt  with zippers – $15

I’ve got a lot of girlfriends that like to rock skirts instead of pants – adding a pair of colored tights and cool moto-boots to complete the look. And I’m a huge fan, especially when it comes to this quilted faux leather skirt with the very metal zippers running down the front for $15 (or this one with zippers running just below the waist for $15). Just don’t forget this one rule; DO NOT screw this look up by wearing some impossible to figure out patterned tight or stocking. I know, I miss the 80’s too. But I don’t miss everything about the 80’s.

Since I know the readers of Destroy the Brain love to infuse a little horror into their closet, enhance your heavy look with this cool lace vampire tee for $10. It sort of reminds me of the movie posters for the flick Suck. And that’s not a bad thing. Just as long as I don’t have to watch it again. Not feeling the lace? Well, since animal prints are still trending super strong, this zebra print tee is a great way to break up your black on black ensanble as well as being a key piece in wardrobe through spring (think pairing them with a pair of white jeans in April or even denim shorts in the Summer). Just don’t pair it with the zebra pants. Animal print on animal print is a fashion NEVER EVER. $13 lucky dollars.

H&M is also known to put out their own version of band tee’s, and this Iron Maiden tank can be had for only $7! Just make sure you can name more than just “Run to the Hill” as among your favorite Maiden jams if you’re going to wear it to stand in front of bands. Or suffer the consequences. Poseur.

Studded pumps. $25.

The only thing more metal than black leather is anything with studs. I’m a huge fan of boots, but I love these studded pumps, especially since they aren’t the usual sky-high hooker heels that nobody can actually walk in. However, if you are strictly a boot girl, H&M has a pretty killer pair of harness booties, complete with chains for $25.

Leather belt – $10

Now for the heavy metal staple, the studded belt. Don’t already have one, or three like me? Then this studded leather belt is a must. And for only a 10-spot, you can’t go wrong.

Patterned Skull Scarf – $13

When they came out nearly a decade ago, the chiffon skull scarf designed by the late, great Alexander McQueen, was seen on pretty much every starlet and rock star. But at almost $300, most frugal fashionista (and reasonable people that don’t have $ to burn) turned to other outlets that to this day continue to crank out their own versions of the scarf, in every color. I’ve got a few, but I just added this one from H&M to my collection because I’m a metalhead, and that means I love skulls. And since I’m a metalhead, I’m also broke. So at $13, I didn’t even have to bust up my skull piggy bank to get one.

Stud Earings – $3

H&M is like candy-land for people who like accessories, especially jewelry. It’s always cheap, and you can find knock-offs of the latest popular designs. And you can go wrong with these studded cross earrings for only $3. If only they were inverted. Always look at the clearance racks, girls. ALWAYS. Lastly, if you want to get all DIY about your leather and studs, H&M carries individual stud kits for $3, so you can add a bit of heavy metal to anything, like a basic black knit hat, gloves, or a basic black tee.

If you read this column on Destroy the Brain, then you know I’m sort of obsessed with nail art, or just keeping the nail polish industry in business. Either way, I’m in. So since we are saving a bunch of dollars looking as metal as possible, ladies – get your nails done. But do them yourself. I was sort of unsure of this new polish from Essie, Belugaria. But this shit is ballsy, girls. Requires shiny top-coat to finish. I did it on my thumbs, then finished the rest of my digits with Sally Hansen Black Diamond.

So stop crying next to your empty change purse, start tucking away a few bucks, and hit up H&M to mix up these very metal bargains before they disappear faster than you can say “We’re Enuff Z’ Nuff! Goodnight St. Louis!”…