[A BREW TO A KILL] SEPTIC MAN and The Brown Note

I don’t believe in Karma. But there may be something to it. I’m sitting in my basement getting a whiff of my own shit while trying to write about a movie called Septic Man. Nothing like a good rain to get the sewer backed up. Ugh. Here’s hoping I can get power through this while holding my nose.

Water contamination in a small Canadian town forces an evacuation. That is when plumber Jack (Jason David Brown) is approached by a strange man (Julian Richings) who asks him to look into the cause. Years ago, Jack was able to fix a similar problem and received no recognition. After convincing his pregnant wife (Molly Dunsworth) to leave without him, he goes to investigate at the water treatment plant. Unfortunately for Jack he his trapped in a giant septic tank by metal mouthed, non talker, Lord Auch (Tim Burd) and his somewhat compassionate and slow witted brother, Giant (Robert Maillet). The longer he’s trapped in the sewer his body starts changing and mutating into something else.

“So good it WILL make you shit yourself!”

Were Lord Auch and The Giant responsible for the water contamination? Were they squatting in the water treatment plant? What was the purpose of those characters? Did no other workers notice a man with metal teeth and his giant brother? With such a small cast the bulk of this movie rests squarely on the shoulders of Jason David Brown. I don’t if it’s the script or him but I felt no sympathy for his plight. And maybe it’s because I was expecting more of a comedy. I thought this transformation would be more akin to Street Trash or even Monsturd. I wasn’t expecting a one man show in a giant toilet bowl.

The opening of the movie, in which a woman is crapping and vomiting uncontrollably, comes across as a comedy. If the filmmakers wanted a serious tone, why front load such a hilariously disgusting scene? Jack’s transformation is nothing like this woman’s. It’s almost as if someone had a great idea for a scene but couldn’t connect it to the rest of the film. Honestly if the movie was more like the it would be more enjoyable.

What interested me about Septic Man is that it was written by Tony Burgess, the author/writer of Pontypool. Which is one of the smartest and unique Horror films I’ve seen. This was, in my mind, a step down. The only bright spot in Septic Man is Pontypool‘s star, Stephen McHattie, as the Mayor. Despite my opinion I’m still interested in seeing Burgess’ other films Ejecta and Hellmouth.

The Brown Note is a Brown Ale from Against the Grain Brewery. I believe they started in 2011 in Louisville, KY. Brown Ales are a traditional British style that are malty. The Brown Note has a nice toasted malts character with a bit of roasted coffee. The use of oats give it a more substantial mouth feel. At 5% ABV you can drink a few and keep your wits about you. It’s available locally in a 4 pack of 16 oz. cans. I kicked back three during the running time. I love the artwork for their beer. At first I thought the guy on the can had explosive diarrhea. The background of the can is brown. That guy just has skidmarks. We’ve all been there.

If you’re looking for a goofy mutated average Joe, watch The Toxic Avenger. If you’re looking for a monster made of turds, may I suggest Monsturd. But if you’re actually looking for a turd, you’re in the right place.