Movie Review: ‘HANSEL & GRETEL: WITCH HUNTERS’

More often than not you probably walk out of a theater enjoying a film but are met with a thought that the experience could have been better.  Rarely do films reach the height of perfection but some sense of satisfaction should always be felt.  While I do feel that many films I see could be improved in one way or another, never have I  felt this feeling more than after watching Tommy Wirkola’s U.S. film debut Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters.  The potential for greatness lies within this film, unfortunately it doesn’t seem like they tried hard enough to strive for something better than what we’re left with.

The film quickly begins with reminding us of the fairy tale that we may have heard growing up: 2 siblings get lost in the woods, find a house made of sugary treats, and stumble upon a witch with a taste for little children.  After showing the kids dispose of the witch in fiery fashion, we are treated to a quick montage of newspaper clippings showing Hansel and Gretel’s rise to fame in the witch hunting business.  Their bounty hunting leads them to a small town that has been plagued with several child disappearances.  What they soon discover is a coven of witches led by a witch (Famke Janssen) with the power to shift her face from evil to good and who is concocting  a plan to be impervious to fire with the help of the coming “Blood Moon.”

Witch Hunters is the most recent film in a string of others that has taken to updating old fairy tales with a darker and more serious tone.  Next month will see another similar entry in the form of Jack The Giant Slayer.  All of the previous films have disappointing in one way or another, but H&G might be the most guilty based on the potential the film had.  Wirkola previously gave us the fun and zany horror comedy Dead Snow.  While that film also suffered from bland characters, it at least delivered a mad-cap sense of fun in the later half with such scenes as someone hanging off the edge of a cliff with the help of zombie intestines.  I appreciated H&G’s attempt at such bloody fun, but it never is pushed to the level it strives to attain.  Gorehounds will relish in a few exploding heads and blood sprays that fly at the audience in campy 3D.  But there’s a level of restraint to the entire affair that could be a result of a timid studio that didn’t want to go over-board with the subject matter.  Let me just give a tip to the producers if they are reading: with a title like Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters, it’s okay to border on the side of ridiculous.  Even recent action star Jeremy Renner seems restrained as his half of the deadly duo compared to his sister played by Gemma Arterton – who bubbles with a little more personality.  Famke Janssen is the only one who seems in on the whole joke as she devilishly plays her role like a possessed demon in an Evil Dead film.

Much of the blame can be placed on the script.  Tired dialogue and a routine plot drag the film into the mundane.  You would think given the subject matter that the writers would see it as an opportunity to deliver some inventive laughs.  This is sadly not the case.  The only bit of ingenuity on display comes at the finale where witches of multiple sorts run amok including conjoined twin witches and anachronistic weapons are pulled out to vanquish the evil summoners.

All my complaints aside, Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters is one of the rare horror films where I’m anxiously awaiting for a sequel.  The film ends on a high note and opens the door for a “group” dynamic of witch hunters; something this film would have greatly benefited from.  A few splashes of blood and a modest bit of nudity isn’t enough to save this film from being little more than something to catch on cable on a Friday night at the house.  Here’s hoping that the inevitable sequel will cast more of a spell on me.