[Yuletide Terrors] Day 4: SANTA’S SLAY

Throughout the month of December, we will be highlighting a film a day that has some tie into the holiday somehow. Some titles will be obvious, others won’t be. Some films will be good and, again, others won’t be. However, we think all titles are worth your time whether to give you chills inside your home or to make you drink more eggnog until you puke laughing.

Santa Claus (Bill Goldberg) is actually the son of the Devil who loves to kill and maim every December. But 1,000 years ago an angel comes down and makes a wager with Santa, if Claus loses he has to spend the next millennium delivering presents and spreading cheer to the children of the world. But time is up and Santa has come to the town of Hell to resume the killing. It’s up to Nicholas (Douglas Smith), his girlfriend (Emilie de Ravin) and his grandpa (Robert Culp) to save the town and Christmas.

I was not looking forward to Santa’s Slay. Throughout the years I had only caught bits and pieces. And I am honestly surprised at how much I enjoyed the movie. The opening scene is amazing. James Caan, Fran Drescher, Chris Kattan and Rebecca Gayheart are a dysfunctional snobby family murdered by the demonic Santa. The use of fire breath to light a piece of coal to burn down a strip club, but not before Santa can make out with a stripper under the mistletoe, is ingenious. A flashback to explain the wager between Santa and the angel is animated to look like a Rankin-Bass production.

The body count is impressively high. Double digits and I don’t mean ten, more like the mid-twenties. Exploding heads, drowned in eggnog, electrocution and impalement by menorah.  The deaths are not that gory but with kids and animals open season for Santa’s wrath, the gore would have come off as mean spirited.

Sure this movie isn’t for everyone, but when it comes to movies starring wrestlers playing Santa Claus you could do a lot worse. The less said about Hulk Hogan and Santa with Muscles the better. And it isn’t even 80 minutes. Give it a chance.