‘FRIDAY THE 13TH’ is Heading Back to Television

Deadline exclusively broke news today that the Friday the 13th franchise would be expanding its universe into television. Prepare to roll your eyes.

Let’s play a game. As you read what I directly lifted from what Deadline wrote, see if you can count how many times your anticipation drops

Emmett/Furla/Oasis Films and Crystal Lake Entertainment have set a deal to produce a new hourlong dramatic series based upon the characters and settings of Friday The 13th. Sean S. Cunningham, who helmed the 1980 original, will be executive producer along with EFO Films principals Randall Emmett & George Furla, Mark Canton of Atmosphere Entertainment MM, Steve B. Harris of Diversion3 Entertainment, and Ted Fox of Fox Entertainment. Also producing is Horror Inc. president Robert Barsamian, who produced the features. Bill Basso (Terminator) and Jordu Schell (Avatar) have been set to script a storyline that re-imagines Jason in multiple time periods. Roy Knyrim (Gods And Monsters) of SOTA FX will coordinate the special make-up effects for the series. If you recall, the original was set at a summer camp, closed because of the drowning of an unattended child. Promiscuous counselors tried to re-open the place, but they began dying. Jason actually took root as the indestructible villain in the second film, with his signature hockey goalie mask coming later. The series is contemporary, focusing on the eclectic characters of Crystal Lake who are forced to confront the return of the killer, as new secrets about his wacky family are revealed.

“Jason Voorhees is synonymous with the genre and we plan to build on this legacy with a provocative and compelling take that expands upon the storylines that have already thrilled millions worldwide,” explained Cunningham. Said Barsamian: “Expect the show to take viewers in some exciting new directions that we’re confident will not only excite existing fans of Friday The 13th but also attract new audiences to the situations and characters that inhabit the small town of Crystal Lake.”

What number do you have? Here, I highlighted my concerns.

Bill Basso (Terminator) and Jordu Schell (Avatar) have been set to script a storyline that re-imagines Jason in multiple time periods.

What the fuck does this mean? I bet it means we will get predictable episodes/seasons. Lemme guess…

Are we going to see Jason’s mom grow up as a teenager and have promiscuous sex with a hotbody who either leaves her high & dry or cheats on her with another woman either of which will give her motivation that all people who are promiscuous should be punished? She later gives birth to Jason, obviously and leads us up to the events to the films.

Wait, is Crazy Ralph the father? Maybe? Either way, I bet we’ll get his back story too.

The series is contemporary…

Wait, I thought you just said that we were in multiple time periods?

..focusing on the eclectic characters of Crystal Lake who are forced to confront the return of the killer, as new secrets about his wacky family are revealed.

Words that bother me out of this sentence above this?

“eclectic characters of Crystal Lake” & “wacky family”

We’re getting Full House aren’t we? Would it be Camp Full House or Full Crystal Lake?

Ugh…I guess we’ll see where this goes. The idea of new reincarnations of Jason come as often as he has had sequels. Let’s just hope this one dies once and for all.

Wanna wash the taste out from reading this article?

Check out our post of what could have been a awesome viral Friday the 13th campaign.