Fuck Tiffany’s: Twisted Trinkets And Gory Gems

I must admit, I have a love/hate relationship with this column. Don’t get me wrong, nobody named Andy is holding a gun to my head telling me what to write about and when. I LOVE writing this column. However, I hate that every time I get around to telling you about my recent horrifying finds, my bank account gets a bit lower. And in the words of the mighty Kinks, I’m on a low budget. Lucky for you, pretty much everything I’m jawing about today shouldn’t make your wallet too much lighter. And you’ll be looking dressed to kill (zing!).

Up first is this movie slasher charm necklace (above), with creepy cameo’s of your favorite slashers, complete with their own dangling weapon of choice like Pinheads meat hook and Leatherface’s chainsaw. You can get your very own, each one made-to-order over at Mirrored Opposites Etsy shop.

This stainless steel “vintage” Jason Voorhees mask ring retails for about $8, but I’d pay $13 for it too. There’s also a pretty cool charm version of Jason’s famous mask that will run you about $18 bucks.

And while I’m still on the topic of everyone’s favorite hockey player, Coffin type Couture doesn’t get much cooler than this Jason hockey mask/machete belt buckle. Belt buckles are synonymous with badassery (“belt buckle rash” is what happens when your tuff belt buckle scratches the back of your guitar), and this one is no exception to that rule. About $30 bucks.

This classic movie monster charm bracelet by Blackberry Designs features vintages images of Frankenstien, Wolfman, Dracula, Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde, and The Mummy. While I’m not crazy about the crystal flower accents (and I’d likely remove them if I was going to sport this sweet piece), there isn’t anything else about this unique charm bracelet especially when it comes to the photo of Boris Karloff sans his Mummy makeup. Despite it’s moderately high price tag ($123), it’s truly a unique piece that I’m certain you won’t see on just anyone. Did I mention I’m a sucker for charm bracelets? Here’s a shot of what’s currently on my own personal Cherrybomb-charmer…

I can’t lie, I’m especially fond of my Devil Woman charm. She has a tail.

I’ve been collecting sterling silver charms since high school, and it’s a love affair that will only end after I’m long for this world. And while there’s many things we can thank the time-sucking Internet for, I’m always amazed what comes back when I Google, “chainsaw jewelry“. So thank you cyber market place for helping those of us who dig the dark, find wearables that only the truly wicked could love.