Movie Review: ‘MAY I KILL U?’

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“We need some sort of Savior – Jesus or Batman or someone like that”

Dialog during the opening credits of May I Kill U?

Crime-riddled London asked for Batman but instead got a bike cop with a Bernard Goetz complex in the brand new US theatrical release (1/31/14) and new to DVD/Blu Ray release of 2012’s flick, May I Kill U?.

Kevin Bishop plays Baz, a London bike cop gone bad. As a matter of fact, so bad that, after hitting his head after falling off of his bike, he’s became a vigilante – and now cruises the streets in search of potential victims in need of retribution. Wife beaters, human traffickers, rapists, suicidal degenerates, shoplifting Nana’s – if you’re breaking the law, Baz is coming for you.

But bad-cop Baz and his rotten brains aren’t the only things making wrong decisions in this film. The low-budget film shows it’s many flaws from the first frame, and it doesn’t do a good job of hiding them throughout the film. From the get-go we pretty much know what’s going to happen to Baz. The story gets laid out by Baz, as he’s interrogated in a small room with a computer, and then juxtaposes back and forth from the past to the present in less-than-fluid transitions. But what’s really tough to digest is his overuse of social media references throughout the film, both as a cop and a killer. That gets old, fast.

Operating under the Twitter name @N4cethelaw, he posts regular updates on his crime spree, like “manual strangulation” being the “preferred method for homicide of family members”, and uploads videos of his exploits to the fictional Brit version of YouTube, UPIPE.CO – but only after his hand-picked perps have given him permission to kill them. His followers soon begin Tweeting their support, and even make recommendations on how his next victim should meet their end. This inspires Baz, since the inhabitants of the small London burb he’s supposed to be protecting hate the cops.

And as if Baz’s job wasn’t bad enough, he’s got his alcoholic mother Bernice to deal with (played by seasoned actor Francis Barber who delivers the only decent performance in the film), and a female partner that he’s in love with. But since he’s about as good as Travis Bickle with women, he keeps striking out. And that makes Baz’s head injury hurt even more.

And when Baz’s head hurts, people DIE.

Speaking of things that make one’s head hurt, Baz’s relationship with his mother plays out like a modern day Norman Bates, only worse, since Bernice is still alive. During a pivotal scene where Bernice is seen bathing an adult Baz in the tub after his accident, I wasn’t cringing in fear – I was taking my already hardcore eye-rolling game to a higher level. Baz’s mother issues are presented in painfully repetitive scenes with not only his mother, but with his partner, and the shoplifting Nana he wants to add to his kill list and his partner. And the tiresome scene between the two, which attempts to provide more plot devices for the story, falls flat.

Later, during one of Baz’s revenge murders, he frees a van full of Russian women that have been forced into prostitution by human traffickers and meets Maya. Baz brings Maya home to meet mother. As you might imagine, Baz’s new girlfriend doesn’t live up to his mother’s standards, and things go downhill from there. There is nothing that happens after Maya’s entrance into the film that you don’t see coming.

For me, the only highlight of the film is a scene between Baz and Seth, a former admirer of Baz turned vigilante himself, played by the awesome Jack Doolan of Cockneys vs Zombies. During his interrogation of Baz, in a fit of rage and disappointment he screams at Baz that he is not “Judge Dredd”. And for a brief moment, I admired the film for taking the time to pay homage to one of my favorite comic book characters.

Sadly, May I Kill U continues it’s cinematic spiral down the rabbit hole of no return by cramming way too much into its last 20 minutes, only to give up completely at the end just like one of Baz’s victims. And despite having the familiar grimy street appeal of Attack the Block, May I Kill U? isn’t able to straddle the line between dark comedy and horror effectively. But that’s because it never really tried that hard to in the first place.

May I Kill U? is out now via iTunes, Vudu, XBOX, PlayStation, Amazon Instant, Google Play and YouTube.